


honey don’t feed it (it will come back)

by drunkspacearchivist



Category: Dr. Carmilla (Musician), The Bifrost Incident - The Mechanisms (Album), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: (s), Bertie is a transman, Canon-Typical Tragedies, Canon-Typical Violence, Carmilla and Nastya are transwomen, Lyf is Lyf, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, The Mechs will show up I promise, Trans Character, Traumatic Backstories, and OC uses xe/xem/xers, and raise you a “lyf gets taken by Carmilla” au, everyone is poly, i see your “lyf gets taken by mechs” au, space
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:46:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28103409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drunkspacearchivist/pseuds/drunkspacearchivist
Summary: Lyfrassir could acknowledge the irony of this situation. Escaping a galaxy overtaken by squamous, screaming things, perhaps becoming the last person of their race, only to die of suffocation after the air pump failed.Or, Lyfrassir Edda meets some strange people after escaping the destruction of their system.Title from It Will Come Back by Hozier
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda/The Silvana Ensemble, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, The Mechanisms Ensemble/The Mechanisms Ensemble, The Silvana Ensemble/The Silvana Ensemble
Comments: 24
Kudos: 64





	1. Introductions

Lyfrassir could acknowledge the irony of this situation. Escaping a galaxy overtaken by squamous, screaming things, perhaps becoming the last person of their race, only to die of suffocation after the air pump failed.

The last planet they’d seen was three months ago. They were going to die here, scared and alone, floating in an endless void for who knows how long. 

They’d tried so hard to keep their emotions inside, to focus more on the running than what they were running from. But now, they allowed a few tears to fall. This was it. They were going to die.

They could feel it, as the oxygen got thinner and thinner. They could feel their life slipping away. But they were happy the air pump failed. The engine had failed a few days before (was it a few days? what counted as a day here?), and the ship was caught in the gravity of a star. They preferred the idea of suffocation to the idea of burning to death inside a star.

A shadow passed in front of the star, and for the first time in days, it was dark enough in the ship for Lyfrassir to fall asleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

When Lyf woke up, they were in a bed. This was strange for many reasons. The main one was that they didn’t have a bed. 

They looked around them. They definitely weren’t in their ship. Everything in this room was clean and white, almost medical in nature. They were alone in the room. 

Slowly, Lyf swung their legs over the edge of the bed, and stood up. They were slightly shaky, but otherwise fine. They took a few tentative steps, analyzing their surroundings. They appeared to be in the medbay of a different spaceship. A much larger spaceship, meant for longer journeys. The kind of spaceship Lyf should have probably stolen by now. The cruiser they had rented almost two years ago on Midgard was not meant for long travel. Hence why it had broken down.

When the engine failed, Lyf had sent out a distress signal, but it went unanswered. They assumed no one was close enough to hear it. Apparently they were wrong. 

They walked out of the medbay in search of life. The first thing they found, right outside the medbay, most definitely wasn’t alive. 

“Halt!” The thing said. The thing looked almost like a person, but was made entirely of metal. Painted on the thing’s chest, in thick black letters, was “xe/xem/xer”, with a smiley face. It took Lyf a moment to realize those must be xer pronouns. Xe also didn’t have a face. Lyf wasn’t sure how xe talked, but xe continued on. “You are not authorized.”

“What?” Lyf said.

“You are not authorized,” The thing said again. Xe pointed at Lyf. Xer fingers opened up like a hinge, revealing a gun.

“ _Skit_ ,” Lyf said, taking a step back. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Of course you do not know. You are not authorized,” xe said.

“I don’t know who any of you are, you picked me up!” Lyf raised both of their hands in surrender, stepping back into the medbay, but xe followed them.

“You are not authorized,” xe said again.

“Ayz, stop!” a voice called. The robot, Ayz, turned towards the noise. A person stood in the doorway, brandishing their own gun.

“They’re alright, Ayz. Go work on your puzzle,” The person said.

“But they are not authorized,” Ayz said, sounding genuinely upset.

“I’m authorizing them,” the person said.

“You cannot authorize them. You are not the Captain.”

The person groaned. “Just go work on your puzzle.”

Ayz turned back to Lyf one last time, before turning and leaving, muttering something about authorization. The person rolled their eyes as the robot passed, and Lyf got their first good look at their savior.

The first word that came to Lyf’s mind was “beautiful”. And they were, with flawless pale skin and bright blue eyes, scarlet hair done up in an intricate hairdo and a long sleeved golden dress. But Lyf noticed the intricacy of their weapon, and the confidence with which they carried themselves, and knew they were dangerous too.

“Sorry about xem,” the person said, holstering their gun. “I only stepped away for a minute, I swear. But xe’ll be distracted for a while. Ayz really likes puzzles.”

“How does xe do puzzles?” Lyf said, momentarily forgetting their manners. “Xe doesn’t have eyes.”

The person clearly hadn’t considered this, and it took them a moment to respond. “Well… xe can see somehow, I guess. I’m not quite sure. You should sit down. You’re weak.”

Lyf crossed their arms, and glared at the person. They, thankfully, didn’t press it.

“I hope you don’t mind the rescue,” The person said. “Ayz really is the only one of us likely to randomly shoot you, I promise. And I’ll get the Captain to tell xem you’re authorized, that’ll make xem shut up.”

“Can I ask why xe has xer pronouns written on xer chest?” Lyf asked.

“Yeah, I did that years ago. Xe is a robot, obviously, and so a lot of people use ‘it/its’ pronouns. Xe shoots anyone who misgenders xem. Do you see the problem?”

Despite themselves, Lyf laughed softly.

“What’s your name?” Lyf asked.

“Briar Rose. You can call me Briar. She/her/hers. Crew member on the spaceship Silvana. You?”

“Lyfrassir Edda. You can call me Lyf. They/them/theirs. Last of my kind.”

Briar’s eyes widened. “You’re the last of your kind?”

“As far as I know, yes,” Lyf said. Briar gave Lyf a look they’d seen far too many times. “I don’t want your pity.”

“No, I’m not…” Briar trailed off, and sighed. “It’s just that I’m the last of my kind too. Technically the only one of my kind that ever was, but… the point is, I know how it feels to be alone in the universe. It’s not pity. It’s empathy.”

“How can you be the only one of your kind ever?” Lyf asked.

Briar sighed again. “Why don’t I take you to meet the others? It’s… kind of a long story.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Briar took Lyf through a maze of twisting hallways _(they were definitely going to get lost in this place)_ until they ended up in a common room of sorts, where two other people sat. Both of them had books on their laps, but only one of them seemed to be reading. The other one was holding the book upside down.

“I told you I’d teach you how to read,” Briar said, rolling her eyes. Both of them looked up at her.

“Hey, you’re awake!” the person who was actually reading said.

“And I told you, Briar, that I don’t need to know how to read. I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I?” the other person said. At least, that’s what Lyf thought they said. They could barely understand him through his accent.

“You don’t know how to read?” Lyf asked.

“Nah,” the person said. “Written language wasn’t really a thing on my planet.”

“It would make band practice a hell of a lot easier if you knew how to read,” Briar said.

“Well, maybe I like causing problems.”

Briar rolled her eyes. She did that a lot, it seemed. “Lyf, meet the boys. Both use he/him. Both are also the last of their kind, actually. Boys, this is Lyf. They/them.”

“Howdy,” said the first man.

“I’ll say hello, since I’m fucking normal,” the other man said, shooting a pointed look at the first man. The first man whacked him with his book.

“What are your names?” Lyf asked.

“My name’s Bertie,” the ‘normal’ man said, holding out his hand for Lyf to shake. They took it, and looked him over. 

Bertie was beautiful too, in a different way than Briar. Whereas Briar was sharp and delicate, Bertie was warm and sturdy. He had short, curly black hair, mussed like he ran his fingers through it too often. His eyes were dark, almost black, he had more freckles than Lyf could ever think of counting, and when he smiled, his teeth were crooked. He was round all over, and Lyf had the sudden urge to give him a hug. He was good at hugs, Lyf could tell. He was one of those people who just radiated a feeling of safety, of security, of feelings Lyf hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“I like your name,” Lyf said.

“Thanks,” Bertie smirked. “I picked it myself.”

“And I’m Arthur Pendragon,” the other man said.

“Rude,” Bertie muttered, as he passed Lyf’s hand into Arthur’s. Instead of shaking their hand, Arthur gently kissed their knuckles, and Lyf couldn’t stop the blush creeping onto their face. It definitely wasn’t fair that all of their rescuers were extremely hot. 

Arthur had dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. It was a cold, calculating darkness in his eyes, like he could outsmart you in an instant. But there was a warmth in his face, his smile. He was a good man who’d seen some bad things, and done some in return. He was thin in the way people are when they grew up starving, but Lyf could tell from the grip on their hand that he was stronger than he looked. 

“Nice to meet you, my good space rat,” Arthur said.

Lyf pulled their hand away, and stared at him. “What did you just call me?”

“Arthur,” Briar sighed.

“A space rat. It’s what we call all the people we pull out of the void of space,” Arthur said.

“It’s gender neutral,” Bertie said excitedly.

“And demeaning,” Lyf snapped.

“It’s not meant to be an insult, I promise,” Briar said. “Arthur was our very first space rat.”

“I went from king to space rat. It was honestly an improvement,” Arthur said.

“How was that an improvement?” Lyf asked.

Arthur winced. “That’s a long story.” 

“Is “that’s a long story” just code for “I don’t want to talk about it” for all of you people?” Lyf asked. 

“Basically,” Bertie said, shrugging.

“I think it more directly translates to, “You’ve just asked a question that’s going to open up all of my trauma”,” a new voice said. Lyf turned to the doorway, where the person in question leaned against the doorframe.

“How long were you standing there?” Bertie asked.

“Long enough,” the person said, shrugging.

“Voyeur,” Arthur teased. The person rolled their eyes, and came over to the group.

“So, you’re the new space rat,” the person said. They had an accent too, but it was different from Arthur’s. 

“I-” Lyf started, before trailing off and sighing. “Yes. I’m the new space rat.”

“Don’t worry, acceptance is the best course of action,” the person smirked. “Take it from a fellow space rat.”

Lyf offered their hand, but the other person didn’t take it. They both stood there awkwardly for a moment, before the other person said, “Oh, I don’t touch people.”

Lyf lowered their hand, and tried to shake the feeling that this person was judging every single move they made.

“This is Lyf,” Briar said. “Lyf, this is Nastya Rasputina. She/her. First mate, technically.”

“Technically, we don’t have positions,” Nastya rolled her eyes.

“Then why do you keep acting like second-in-command?” Arthur asked, crossing his arms.

“Because I’m the Captain’s favorite,” Nastya said, very matter-of-factly.

“That’s fair,” Arthur said.

“Well, this is all of us,” Briar said. “Except for the Captain, of course. And, well you already met Ayz.”

“Where is the Captain?” Lyf asked.

“No clue. But she’s on her way down here. I sent her a message,” Nastya said.

“Then do I get to learn who all of you are?” Lyf asked.

“Patience is a virtue, my dear Lyf,” Nastya said.

“And you all picked me up from the void of space without any explanations!” Lyf said. “What if this is some kind of long ploy to experiment me or something?” 

“All the experimentation on this ship is consensual,” Nastya said. 

“You realize that doesn’t make me feel better, right?” Lyf said.

“You don’t need to be scared of us, Lyf,” Briar said, gently placing a hand on their shoulder. “I know it’s a lot, but we’re not going to hurt you. We’ve all been in your situation. Scared, and hurting, and completely alone in the universe. We picked you up because we found your ship, and we know that’s the worst way to die. No one deserves to go out like that. We’ll take you to the nearest planet, if you don’t want to stay with us. We can fix up your ship for you. But we don’t want to hurt you.”

“Unless, of course, you want us to hurt you,” Bertie said with a dramatic wink. Nastya walked over specifically to whack him with the back of her hand.

“Ignore him,” Briar said. Lyf snorted.

“Thank you all, really,” Lyf said. “It’s just… it’s a lot.”

“We know,” Arthur said. “And if telling you our tragic backstories is going to make you feel more comfortable, well… we can do that.”

“We do that often,” Bertie said.

“Usually with musical accompaniment,” Nastya said.

“Oh gods,” Lyf groaned. “Can you not sing?”

Someone behind them laughed. “Judging by that reaction, I’d say you’ve met my other children.”

Lyf turned to the woman they assumed was the Captain. “Your other children?”

“The ones that aren’t us,” Arthur said.

“Also known as our nemeses,” Bertie said.

“The Mechanisms,” Briar said.

“The lesser immortals,” Nastya said.

“Wait, you’re _immortal_?” Lyf asked.

“We were working up to telling them that,” Briar groaned.

“No, you want to start with that,” Nastya said. “It makes everything else seem  
less intense.”

As if a switch had been flipped, everyone started arguing. Lyf buried their face in their hands. Their head was killing them.

Arms wrapped around their shoulders, and pulled them over to sit on the couch. The voices stopped, as hands rubbed firm circles into their temples. They leaned into the touch, until their forehead rested against the person’s body. The person laughed, but didn’t stop until the pain had lessened, and Lyf looked up.

The Captain smiled down at them. “You alright, my dear?”

Lyf nodded, and the Captain’s smile widened to show teeth too sharp to be human.

“I don’t think I told you my name,” the Captain said. “I am Doctor Carmilla. Welcome to my ship.”


	2. Backstories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of suicide, mentions of murder, mentions of animal death, mentions of questionable science, guilt + grief
> 
> oh to be gently held by carmilla while horrible immortals tell you their tragic life stories
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated!

“And you’re 100% sure you don’t want us to sing?” Arthur said.

“100%,” Lyf said.

“Damn,” Arthur said. “It’s a lot more fun when we do.”

Everyone had shifted to sitting in a circle in the common room. Lyf was sitting on the couch, with Nastya next to them and Carmilla behind them, wrapping her hands across their chest. When Carmilla had first pulled Lyf into this position, Lyf had startled at the sudden contact. Carmilla had stiffened and dropped her arms, apologizing. The second she let go, Lyf ached. They were so touch starved, and they hadn’t even noticed it. They leaned back into Carmilla until she held them again. Briar and Arthur took the two armchairs, and Bertie sat on the floor with his head on Briar’s lap. Carmilla had called Ayz into the room as well. Ayz was initially not happy to see Lyf, but Carmilla told xem they were authorized, and xe resigned to standing ominously in the corner with only mild grumbling.

“Right then, who goes first?” Carmilla asked.

No one responded.

“Right, thanks,” Carmilla said. She sighed. “I guess that means _I_ go first.”

“I mean it makes sense to stay as chronological as we can,” Bertie said.

“Oh, now you have something to say?” Carmilla teased. 

“Shh, I wanna hear the story,” Briar said.

Carmilla laughed, then sighed again. “Where do I begin?”

“Where it always begins,” Nastya said, curling into a ball and resting her chin on her hands. “The cowboy with the broken heart.”

Carmilla laughed again, but it was sad this time. Then, she began.

“Jonny was born with blood on his hands. That is to say, his mother died in labor. His father might have been a good man once, but he wasn’t when I met him. I let Jonny get his revenge, and took him to see the stars. I thought he would make a good friend. He was sweet. He really was. He’d shoot me for saying it now, but he was such a good person when I met him. But immortality changes people. Anyways, Jonny got sick. The actual medical diagnosis is lost to time. Whatever had happened, Jonny’s heart gave out. So I built him another one. He was the first, but far from the last.

“Nastya was next. I’ll let her tell her own story in a moment. She gets that right.

“Ivy was when I let my hubris take control, and it didn’t let go for a long time. I chose Jonny and Nastya to be my friends, my children, but Ivy was my experiment. I wanted to see how far I could go before my invention didn’t work properly. Sometimes I wonder if Ivy was already past the limits, if she lost too much of herself. Despite all the metaphors, replacing someone’s heart is easy. Replacing someone’s brain is a different matter.

“Ashes… actually, I have nothing to say about them. Only that sometimes I wished I had chosen someone who wasn’t so enamored with widespread destruction.

“But the Drumbot… Brian may have been my biggest mistake. I didn’t even pretend to ask for his permission to mechanise him. We found him floating in space, half dead and frozen. I guess that makes _him_ the first… what do you call them?”

“Space rats,” Arthur said.

“Yes, Brian was the original space rat. But his mechanization was so… complete. I had to replace everything but his heart. And that’s not even the worst of it.”

Carmilla paused, and sighed.

“No use feeling guilty now,” Nastya said. “What’s done is done.”

“Right,” Carmilla said. She sighed again, and continued on.

“You see, Lyf, the mechanization process only works if the replacement makes sense in the Narrative. Jonny was kind, so replacing his heart worked. Ashes was an arsonist, so their lungs… well, when Brian woke up he told me about how he ended up floating in space. And just to make sure the process would work, I gave him a morality switch. A literal switch. He has two different modes that dictate whether or not he’s able to do anything morally wrong.

“I was a fool. Blinded by my successes. The others started fighting back more after that. I thought it was a phase that we’d have to work through. The first time Jonny threw me out of an airlock, I thought it was a joke. It was considerably less funny to be thrown out the second and third time. 

“The ship was my friend, my very first child. But when even she started working against me, I knew it was time to leave. So the next time Jonny threw me out of an airlock, I didn’t try to come back. 

“I’d say I handled it well. I’d be lying. The Mechanisms were all I’d had for so long. I wasn’t sure who I was if I wasn’t with them. But I managed. Saw some planets. Tried to clone myself. Failed at cloning myself. Killed some people. Killed myself a few times. Came back every fucking time. Tried therapy. Shot my therapist. Anyways, a couple thousand years later, here I am. I guess everything came full circle. I’ve got a new ship, a new backup band-”

“Backup band my ass,” Briar said.

“We are not your backup band,” Bertie scoffed.

“Fine,” Carmilla sighed. “I’ve got a new set of children.”

Everyone cheered. 

“Mom, mom, mom,” Arthur started chanting. Everyone else joined in. Carmilla waved her arms, trying to get them to stop, but that just made them chant louder. Carmilla laughed, and turned to speak directly to Lyf.

“Correction: a new set of _increasingly annoying_ children.”

The chant changed. “Increasingly annoying, increasingly annoying!”

“Alright, that’s quite enough of that,” Carmilla said, louder than the chanting.

The chant grew louder. “Enough of that, enough of that, enough of that!”

“I’m shooting the next person to start a chant!” Carmilla yelled.

Everyone went quiet.

“Getting shot, getting shot,” Nastya started chanting again, quietly.

“Bitch!” Carmilla said. Nastya started giggling. “You think I won’t? You think I won’t because it’s _you_?”

“Maybe,” Nastya said, through laughter.

“Well… I actually don’t have my gun on me at the moment,” Carmilla said. Nastya started laughing harder. “This just means you won’t be expecting it when it does come!”

“Sure,” Nastya said.

“Uh, maybe we shouldn’t be shooting each other?” Lyf said cautiously.

“Don’t worry, it’s how we show affection,” Bertie said.

Lyf’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Oh, no sweetheart,” Carmilla said. “We’re immortal, remember? If we get shot, we’ll just come back in a few minutes. No one’s going to shoot you.”

“Oh, yeah,” Nastya said. “We’re all so desensitised to dying sometimes we forget mortals… aren’t.”

“Oh,” Lyf said, feeling a little silly. Also slightly flustered, because Carmilla called them sweetheart and was now resting her head on their shoulder.

“But there’s one major difference between this ship and that ship,” Carmilla said. “This time, no pretending. Everyone is here because they want to be. No one is forced to do anything they don’t want to.”

“That is not true!” Bertie snapped “You forced me to clean up Fluffy!”

“It was your fault the thing got in the engine,” Carmilla said. “And it was revolting. Seriously, do you know how bad something has to be to gross _me_ out?”

“How was it my fault?” Bertie asked

“You threw it in there!” Nastya said.

“I did not!” Bertie said. “I didn’t think it’d follow the laser into the fucking engine!”

“Wait, so Fluffy was a cat?” Lyf asked.

“Whatever Fluffy was, it definitely wasn’t a cat,” Arthur said.

“Who’s telling their story next?” Carmilla asked.

“Well, if we’re going chronologically, it’s Bertie’s turn,” Briar said.

“Shouldn’t it be Nastya, cuz she was a Mech?” Bertie said.

“But this is The Silvana’s history, and I technically joined last,” Nastya said.

“Ugh, fine,” Bertie groaned. “I’ll go next.”

Bertie sat up straight, cracking his neck. “Right. I was a pretty weird kid. I never had many friends growing up. But there was one person who always stood by me. His name was Tim. Tim and I were inseparable, ever since primary. We grew up together. We learned guitar, tried every gender identity we could get our grubby little hands on, got beat up, beat some people up. We got into a hell of a lot of trouble together, heh. After I transitioned- that would have been around fourteen or fifteen- we fell in love. Like something out of a fucking storybook. It was all soft and sweet, gentle love. 

“We were seventeen when the war broke out. This dumb fucker thought he could build a giant canon on the moon to blow up London, and he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. Tim wanted to go fight. And me… well, I was hesitant. I’ve never been a very violent person, and the kids that went up there weren’t coming back down. But if Tim was going, then I was too.

“We met Jonny and TS shortly after we got there-”

“TS?” Lyf said. Then, “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, it’s okay,” Bertie said. “That’s what we called the Toy Soldier. It’s… well, it’s the Ayz of the Mechanisms. Not human, not exactly not-human. It follows any order you give it.”

“Oh,” Lyf said.

“Anyways, we met Jonny and TS. Tim and Jonny got on like a house on fire, and it was honestly quite terrifying. Partially because of the pure chaotic energy the two of them produced, but partially because… god, it sounds so stupid, but it scared me because Tim was supposed to be _mine_. It wasn’t even jealousy, not really. If Tim wanted a relationship with Jonny too, I would have let him. But it was like Jonny was offering Tim everything I couldn’t give him. I was afraid he was going to run away with Jonny, leave me behind. And in a way, I guess he did.

“We lasted for three or four years like that, cruel years of brutal tunnel warfare, until I got shot. I fell behind the group, and one of the Moon Kaiser’s men grabbed me and dragged me back to one of their camps. Somewhere along the way, I dropped my dog tags. I can only assume Tim found them, and thought I died. In reality, I spent a few hazy months dying of sepsis in a POW camp, until the Doc happened to break into that camp and take me out. She took me off the moon, back to her ship, and nursed me back to health.

“The official story she’ll give you is something about replacing the bad she’d done with good, but that doesn’t make any sense to me. Don’t know why she didn’t break everyone out in that case. It’s the Narrative, probably, that made her pull me out. And I think the fact that she hasn’t interrupted yet is the closest thing I’m getting to a conformation.”

“Oh hush,” Carmilla said.

“Once I was better, she offered to take me back to my planet. Thought I’d scare the crap out of Tim. I don’t know why I was so convinced he was still alive. When I got back, I heard the stories. The moon had been destroyed, killing everyone on it. They say a person called Gunpowder led the fights, destroyed the moon. Even before I got confirmation from Nastya, I knew it was him. But that wasn’t the end of it.

“The blast from the moon explosion knocked my home planet out of its rotation. The entire thing was going to fall into the sun. World governments were trying to find a way to evacuate the planet, but I had no reason to stay. I asked Carmilla to take me with her somewhere, anywhere. One planet turned to two, and three. We found out we really liked traveling with each other. One night, when the two of us were both far too drunk, she told me about the Mechanisms, and I asked her to make me immortal so that I could stay with her. She was all I had left in the universe, and I was all she had. I didn’t want to make her watch me die. But she kept telling me no, kept saying it wasn’t nearly as fun as it sounded. Finally, about three years into our journey, she caved. Fixed my bad knee, while she was at it. Definitely not the coolest thing to have gotten replaced, but it worked.”

“You don’t want the cool things replaced, trust me,” Carmilla said.

“It’s much more invasive. And painful,” Nastya said.

“Wait a second,” Lyf said. “I thought the mechanism needed to be narratively important. Whatever that means. How is your knee narratively important?”

“It’s the knee that got hit in the war,” Bertie said. “The injury that led to my capture, and eventual rescue. Again, not the coolest thing in the world, but if the shoe fits. Anyways, it’s Briar’s turn now.”

Bertie put his head back in Briar’s lap. Briar sighed, running her fingers through Bertie’s hair, and began.

“The war against King Cole was so long ago, most people have forgotten. It was brutal, as all war is, but even more so with this one. King Cole’s army wasn’t a thousand people, it was one person. They were called the Rose Reds. He had genetic copies made of his finest warrior, a woman named Rose. The Rose Reds were the most successful copies, but they were not the first. I was the first.

“I was created on the desert moon of Briar, which I was named after. At first, I was considered a success. Then I found out what my purpose was. What they planned for me. I refused to be a weapon. I killed everyone in that facility, except for one doctor. Doctor Malif was the head researcher, and had convinced me they were my friend. They promised to take me off the moon, but they tricked me. They took me directly to King Cole. They put me in a special induced coma, and made me the main component in the machine that protected King Cole’s castle. 

“It hurt. A lot. There were wires inside of me, taking all of the rage I felt and turning it into pure energy. I layed there for nearly thirty years in unceasing agony, wishing I could wake up, wishing I could see the sun again. Being part-machine at the time, I was able to hear some of the bustle of the other machines through the network. It’s hard to explain, but I could _feel_ the city working around me. One day, I realized that if I could feel the other machines, maybe one of them could feel me. Maybe someone would come set me free. So I tried to send my own messages across the network. I was met with silence for a very long time. Then one day, I got a response from a spaceship not belonging to King Cole. Her name was Aurora.

“I can’t remember the exact conversation I had. It was a very long time ago. But I told Aurora what was done to me, where I was, and how to get me out. I’d heard everything that had been said in the room I was kept, so I knew I couldn’t escape without someone’s help. Aurora was kind to me. She told me that a long time ago, a very similar thing had been done to her. She said she was alive once. She told me there was no way to save her, but perhaps she could save me. She told me she would ask a human she knew to enter the planet. She told me I was going to be rescued. And then she cut out.

“I was afraid that Aurora had been overtaken, or worse, that she had lied to me. And after it had been a while, I was afraid that help was never going to come. I shouldn’t have had so little faith in Aurora. I heard the sounds of violence, and then with another flash of pain, I awoke. 

“If you haven’t guessed it already, Aurora belonged to the Mechanisms. When I woke up, there were two people in the room with me. One of them was Jonny, who… well, Carmilla and Bertie had nothing but nice things to say about him, but I didn’t like him at all. He made me uncomfortable. Especially since he was supposed to be my prince. But the other person was Nastya. She was kind to me. She helped me speak to Aurora, and she helped take me to the final battle. To Cinders.”

Briar paused a minute, seemingly lost in thought, before she shook her head, and continued with the story.

“Cinders never loved me, of course. She was Rose’s wife. She loved Rose, and I am not her. But even so, a part of me did love Cinders. So I took her from the final battle, and lived with her for the rest of her life, about twenty years. After she died, I realized something I should have noticed before. In all that time, in the fifty-ish years of my life, I hadn’t aged a day. The technology that made me part machine was still inside of me, and it was keeping me a little _too_ alive. Realizing that I was nearly alone in the universe, I went off to find the Mechanisms, hoping that they’d take me in. I ran into Bertie first. Well, I say ‘ran into’. He shot me.”

“It was an accident!” Bertie snapped, like they’d had this fight before.

“An accident? Both times?” Briar snapped back. 

“Children,” Carmilla warned. Bertie stuck his tongue out at Briar, who rolled her eyes.

“Anyways, they were a little confused to find out I couldn’t die. Carmilla took a look at me, fixed some things up so it’s less of a half-hazard hodgepodge and more of a functioning mechanism. So most of my nervous system is actually wires. It’s weird, actually; there are certain parts of my body where I can’t actually feel anything, and different parts where I feel too much. I think that’s everything?”

Briar looked to Carmilla, and Lyf felt her shrug behind them.

“It’s your story, honey,” Carmilla said.

“Alright then,” Briar said. “Arthur, your turn.”

Arthur groaned. “Ugh, do I have to?”

“Not if you really don’t want to,” Carmilla said.

“Nah, nah, I’ll do it,” Arthur said. “Can’t be the only one not to share. Alright, where to begin… My brother Kay always used to say trouble came easy to a Pendragon. I thought I’d escaped that curse. I’d won the railgun, defeated the Lady of the Drowned Sector, led a caravan of almost twenty people through the wastelands of level 17, I had two-”

Suddenly, Arthur stopped. He sat up straighter, and took a deep breath. Bertie switched over to rest his head in Arthur’s lap, and Arthur buried a hand in Bertie’s curls. Arthur took a shaky breath. And another.

“Sorry,” Arthur mumbled.

Briar jumped out of her chair, and sat on the arm of Arthur’s chair, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Arthur laughed, humorously. “You’d think after five hundred years, it’d hurt less.”

“No,” Carmilla said. She had tightened her grip on Lyf’s arm, almost enough to hurt. “It just hurts less often.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Arthur said, like this was something she said a lot. He took another deep breath, and started again. “I had t-two partners. Guinevere and Lancelot were my everything. We did nothing that wasn’t together. They led with me, fought by my side. They were the greatest gifts of my life. My son killed them.

“I spent a lot of time blaming myself for their deaths, for the death of my planet. A lot of what-ifs. What if we’d made peace with the Saxons? What if I recognized my son? But it wasn’t my fault, not really. One person doesn’t kill a world, if that world is already dying. I’m just the unlucky bastard that survived the encounter.

“My son was taken from me when he was a child. The Saxons killed everyone in the caravan that day, but he must have been saved, taken and raised by the Saxons. I should have recognized him when he came back to Camelot, but… well, when he’d been taken, he was my daughter. I wasn’t looking for a long-lost son, even after the prophecies I got from the Hanged Man. Nobody listened to the Hanged Man, except for the crazies, so I had no reason to believe him.

“I wonder, sometimes, if Mordred thought what he was doing was right. If maybe he thought he was sparing me, or acting out of love. He did, after all, shove me in a life pod and drive our entire world into the sun, effectively making me the only surviving member of our race. But I don’t think I can ever forgive him for destroying the world, for killing my partners. I can still hear his last words to me in my head, sometimes. ‘You’re the once and future king.’ What, I wonder, did he think I was king of? King of that broken world? No.”

Arthur locked eyes with Lyf, and smiled. “Like I said earlier, I’d rather be a space rat.”

“Is that how the others found you?” Lyf asked. 

Arthur nodded. “Floating in a life pod, half dead. Bertie and Briar took a liking to me, and convinced me to stick around for a while. A few months turned into two years, and eventually Carmilla mechanised me. My mechanism, since we’re all sharing that apparently, is my shoulder, where Mordred shot me all those years ago.”

The room was quiet for a moment, before Arthur added, “That’s it. You go now Nastya.”

Nastya didn’t respond.

“Nastya?” Carmilla asked. Nastya jumped a bit, startled out of her thoughts. Nastya looked at Lyf, then back up at Carmilla. Carmilla must have given her some sort of sign, or reassuring look, because Nastya looked back to Lyf and sighed.

“I was born...” Nastya trailed off. 

She attempted to start again. “When I was…”

Nastya looked into her lap, shoulders shaking slightly. No one moved to comfort her, and Lyf remembered what she’d said about not touching people. They wondered if she would tell them why.

“Aurora...” Nastya trailed off again. She stopped, took a deep breath, and started again. “Her name was Aurora. She was alive. She was _so_ alive. And they… and she died. So I left the shell of what was Aurora, taking the final piece of her with me. I put her to rest, and I thought I’d try to die in the void. When these people found me, they didn’t know who I was at first. And… well, I’m here to stay now.”

Nastya didn’t say anything more. The room was quiet again, for a minute, before Carmilla spoke.

“That’s our story, then,” Carmilla said.

“Wait!” Lyf said. “Ayz, how did you join the crew?”

Ayz, who was still standing ominously in the corner, turned xer face towards Lyf.

“I overthrew capitalism,” Ayz said.

“Yeah, that’s all xe’ll tell us,” Carmilla said. “I found xem on a backwater planet, and accidentally stole xem.”

“How do you accidentally steal a robot?” Lyf asked.

“You assume xe was left for scrap, and get very surprised when xe starts talking,” Carmilla said. “But xe’s happy here, right Ayz?”

“I have puzzles and murder,” Ayz said. “I am satisfied.”

“That means the only person who hasn’t told us their tragic backstory would be you, Lyfrassir,” Briar said.

“You don’t have to,” Carmilla said, and Lyf realized she could probably feel their heart speeding up. 

Lyf was going to say that they didn’t want to talk about it, that they had just about enough and they would like to leave now. They had every intention to say just that. They opened their mouth.

“The media called it the Bifrost incident,” Lyf said. And now that they had started, they couldn’t stop. It all poured out of them: Odin and Thor; Loki and Sigyn; Yog-sothoth; even the fucking prisoners. It felt good, Lyf realized, to get it off of their chest. They had never told anyone the real story before. There was never anyone who would have believed them. But they knew these people would listen, would believe them. More importantly, they knew these people wouldn’t blame them for the death of their star system.

When the story ended, no one spoke for a minute. Then, Carmilla asked, “Odin. The All-Mother Odin?”

“Uh, yes?” Lyf said.

“Huh,” Carmilla said. “Small universe.”

“You _knew_ her?” Lyf asked.

“In some senses of the word, yes,” Carmilla said.

Nastya groaned, and shook her head. “Okay, time to change the subject.”

Carmilla laughed. “Well, now that’s all out of the way, we need to discuss your stay here. Now, you’re free to leave any time. Technically. We still need to fix up that ship of yours, so I’d wait a bit if I were you. But we’ve got an extra room, and you are welcome for as long as you’d like.”

“Thank you,” Lyf said. “But I really just need a ride to the nearest planet. Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“That’s still a good nine months out, in the direction we’re heading,” Carmilla said. “But that can definitely be arranged.”

“Well, if you’re stuck with us for a while, I should warn you,” Briar said. “We have weekly band practices, so you’re probably going to have to hear some singing.”

Lyf laughed. It was a real, sincere laugh, a sound they hadn’t made for a long time. They laughed more than the joke really called for, and then laughed much past that point, and they kept laughing until the laughing turned to sobbing and they were shaking and Carmilla was saying their name but they couldn’t stop. They were turned around again, and they buried their face in Carmilla’s shoulder, and she rocked them until somehow, they fell asleep.


	3. Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Drowning. unreality, past character death, mentions of bullying, mentions of sexual harassment

Lítill-Vatnabær, like most other Midguardian coastal towns, had massive cliffs looking over the ocean. One of these cliffs was called Stökkstaður. It was a relatively small cliff, not nearly as high as some of the others near it, but significant because it thrusted out much farther into the ocean. This meant you could jump off of the edge of the cliff without having to worry about sharp rocks or the water being too shallow. And though no one was really _supposed_ to jump off the cliff, everyone did anyways. The older kids would dare their friends to jump, and the younger kids would watch with a mix of horror and admiration. 

When the child that would one day be known as Lyfrassir Edda was nine years old, they went to Stökkstaður with their friends one beautiful summer night after dinner. The group hadn’t gone with the intention to jump. They just wanted to stand on the cliff, scared out of their minds, until they ran back to the safety of their own backyards. But they were not the only ones with that idea. A group of older boys, known throughout town as troublemakers and bullies, were already there that night, and that always meant trouble. One of Lyfrassir’s friends tried to convince them to leave, but the older boys had already seen them. 

“What have we here?” Olavo, the leader of the group asked, approaching the group. The younger kids tried to leave, but Olavo grabbed one of Lyfrassir’s friends by the arm.

“Let me go!” their friend said. 

“‘Let me go!’” Olavo mimicked, in a whiny falsetto. All his friends snickered.

“Let them go, _åsna_ ,” young Lyfrassir snapped. They had heard the word the other day; from their mother, after someone cut her off while driving. They weren’t entirely sure what it meant, but they knew it was bad.

Olavo and his friends laughed at Lyfrassir.

“Why should I?” Olavo sneered.

“Leave the kids alone, Olavo,” a voice said from behind them. Lyfrassir looked back. It was no surprise that the woman who stood there was Eydis. Eydis was Lyfrassir’s older sister, seventeen years old at the time, and as beautiful as the day is long. She was Lyfrassir’s hero. She had been following the younger kids, as she did most days when they wandered too close to the cliffs.

Olavo had let Lyfrassir’s friend go, pushing past the kids to get to Eydis. “Can do. If, of course, you’ll kiss me.”

Eydis scoffed, and took a step back. “Yeah, right, that’ll happen.”

“Come on, _sötnos_ ,” Olavo said. He took a step forward, and Eydis took another step back. “You know you want to.”

Another step forward. Another step back. Again. Again.

One of Lyfrassir’s friends had the sense to start running, and the others followed. One of Olavo’s cronies yelled something after them, but no one moved to stop them. The only one that stayed was Lyfrassir. Eydis had saved them from Olavo, and it was Lyfrassir’s turn to return the favor. 

“ _Dra åt helvete _,” Eydis spat. Olavo just laughed, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Eydis struggled in his grasp for a moment, before deciding the best course of action was just to punch Olavo in the jaw.__

__“ _Tik_!” Olavo snarled. He let go of her waist, and pushed her in the chest. Eydis stumbled back too far, unable to catch her balance, and fell off of the cliff. _ _

__Eydis screamed. Lyfrassir screamed too, and in a moment of panic, too young to know any better, jumped off the cliff after their sister._ _

__The wind whipped at their face, and a weightless sensation curled up in their belly and threatened to burst through. Lyfrassir squeezed their eyes shut, but they could hear the rushing of the water growing closer, and closer, so loud it was almost like screaming. When they hit the water, every bit of them stung with the impact. They struggled for breath, but only felt the burn of saltwater in their lungs, until strong hands grabbed their shoulders and pushed them upwards. They breached the surface, coughing and spluttering, kicking their feet as hard as they could, but they could feel the cold embrace of the ocean pulling them back down. Just as their head slipped back under, someone grabbed them and pulled them back out. Lyfrassir was too disoriented to recognize their savior, but as they were pulled up into a boat, they realized it was some local fishermen that had noticed the two of them hit the water._ _

__The second Lyfrassir was out of the water, they started screaming their sister’s name, hoping she would appear out of the murky waters. She had saved them. She had pushed them above the surface. She was a good swimmer. She was going to be okay. She was probably just playing a joke on Lyfrassir, though it really wasn’t funny. The fisherman that had grabbed them dove back into the water, only to appear a minute or so later empty handed. This happened again. And again. Another fisherman dove in to help him look. They drove the boat back into the harbor, and Lyfrassir screamed at them for abandoning their sister, who was surely okay. She was okay. The Coast Guard conducted a search of the bay that night, and the next day. A search began on land, too, in vain hope that she’d gotten herself to shore._ _

__They searched for months. The body of Eydis Edda was never recovered, and Lyfrassir Edda never went swimming again._ _

__But that was then. This is now. And now, Lyfrassir is falling off that very same cliff, the smell of salt water invading their senses, their stomach dropping and their limbs flailing in their weightlessness, the wind nipping at their face, and the rush of the waves screaming somewhere below them. But no, that wasn’t quite right. They forced themself to open their eyes, and they saw. Instead of the sea, they were falling into a vast rainbow void, the undulating, twisting soul of Yog-Sothoth. The screaming was actual screaming, the voices of trillions of people being devoured by a starving god. Lyfrassir fell faster and faster and faster, hurtling towards the death they’d barely escaped, the death they should have had, the death they deserved. The colors grew brighter, and Lyfrassir squeezed their eyes shut again._ _

__Suddenly, they heard a voice whispering in their ear, clear as a bell, somehow audible over the rest of the noise._ _

__“Well, Inspector?” Marius von Raum whispered. “Are you going to take my hand, or what?”_ _

__A hand ghosted across Lyfrassir’s own, and they held onto it as hard as they could, the only solid thing in this place. They felt a gentle tugging on their hand, and the light around them dimmed, as they were pulled away to safety._ _

__Lyf opened their eyes. Then, they closed them again, wincing at the light._ _

__“Ah, shit,” a voice said, and Lyf felt the light flick off. “You’re good now, Lyf.”_ _

__Cautiously, Lyf opened their eyes. The room was dim, but they could still see enough of the room to realize where they were. They weren’t in the Bifrost. They didn’t die. They were on the Silvana, back in the medbay. Bertie, Arthur, and Briar were in the room as well, apparently midway through a card game. Currently, the boys were approaching them like they were a cornered animal that might run away._ _

__“Don’t crowd them,” Briar snapped, pulling the boys back a few feet. She turned to Lyf. “How are you feeling?”_ _

__“I’m fine-” Lyf started, but Arthur cut them off._ _

__“Bullshit. You almost died, Lyf, so be honest with us.”_ _

__“Really, I- wait, I almost _died_?” Lyf asked._ _

__“That may be an exaggeration,” Briar said._ _

__“Not much of one,” Bertie said. He broke out of Briar’s hold, and sat on the edge of Lyf’s bed, looking very much like a concerned parent. “What do you remember?”_ _

__“We were in the common room, telling our stories. The last thing I really remember is… Carmilla saying you’ll take me to the nearest planet.” Lyf said, dread growing in their stomach. “Why? What happened?”_ _

__The three of them exchanged a look. Bertie placed his hand on top of one of theirs, and Lyf had to force their mind to stop coming up with images of rainbows and violins (or, violin players)._ _

__“Lyf, that was over a week ago,” Bertie said. “You… you kind of had a fit. You wouldn’t stop laughing, at first, then you passed out, then you started convulsing… Anyways, the Doc had us take you in here. She said something about shock and oxygen deprivation. I wasn’t really listening. But you had a really bad fever. And hallucinations, as far as we could tell. Or really bad nightmares, at least. It was kind of touch-and-go for a bit. Carmilla was really worried. But your fever broke some time last night, so Nastya wanted to make her go to sleep. Carmilla didn’t want to leave you, so all three of us volunteered to watch you. Then you woke up.”_ _

__“Hallucinations?” Lyf asked._ _

__“You screamed a lot,” Arthur said, quietly. Lyf looked from Arthur, who was withdrawn and refused to meet their gaze, to Bertie, with his gentle touches and worried eyes, to Briar, fidgety and nervous, and realized that, somehow, _they had scared them_. Somehow, these immortal bastards had already grown attached enough to them to worry. Something deep inside Lyf knew this wasn’t a good thing, but a larger part of them craved the affection. _ _

__Like the moment in the common room, when they told their story, they felt themselves do something almost involuntarily. They wove their fingers in Bertie’s, and reached out to Arthur with their other hand. When Arthur took their hand, they brought it over to Briar, who placed her hand on top of their clasped hands, and brought it back down to rest on the bed._ _

__“I’m alright,” Lyf said, making sure to look each of them in the eyes. “I promise. I feel… well, I feel tired. But other than that, I’m alright.”_ _

__“Good,” Bertie said, and they felt like he really believed them. “You can go back to sleep. We can leave if-”_ _

__But Lyf was already swinging their legs over the side of the bed, and standing up. A chorus of protests came from the others, but Lyf waved them off. “I want to check on Carmilla.”_ _

__Arthur stepped in front of them, in an attempt to stop them, but Lyf gave them a look._ _

__“Okay then,” Arthur sighed, stepping aside ignoring the protests from the other two. “But if you pass out in the hallway, I ain’t carrying you.”_ _

__Lyf smiled, and walked out of the medbay._ _

__Back in the medbay, Arthur held up three fingers. Then two. Then one._ _

__Lyf walked back into the medbay. “Where is Carmilla, by the way?”_ _

__“Back in the common room,” Arthur said. “At least, Nastya said that’s where they’d be.”_ _

__“Right,” Lyf said. “And that is where, exactly?”_ _

__Arthur chuckled. He walked up to Lyf and took their hand again. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you.”_ _

__Carmilla was nowhere to be seen. However, Nastya was in the room, curled up on the couch and snoring softly. On her chest, sleeping in a loaf with its head on its paw, was a black cat._ _

__Lyf tried to keep themselves from squealing. They loved cats, and hadn’t seen one in two years. They knew other galaxies had variations of the species, but no planet they had stopped at had any. Arthur must have noticed their face, as he smiled and said, “You can pet her, if you want. She’s cool with it.”_ _

__Lyf walked forward, and placed a hand on the cat’s head. The cat jerked her head up, and let out a soft, “ _mrrp_?” Lyf’s heart melted. They gasped quietly, and started scratching the spot between her ears. The cat closed her eyes, pushing up into Lyf’s hand._ _

__“What’s her name?” Lyf asked._ _

__“Uh… Carmilla?” Arthur said._ _

__Lyf looked back up at Arthur, confused. “You named the cat after your Captain? Doesn’t that make things confusing?”_ _

__Lyf looked back to the cat shifting her head for optimal pets, when her nose bumped against Lyf’s hand. The cat sniffed Lyf’s hand, and opened her eyes, looking up at Lyf._ _

__“Mrow,” the cat said. Her ears perked up, and her eyes narrowed. Lyf got the overwhelming feeling that this cat was judging them._ _

__“No, that _is_ Carmilla. She can turn into a cat,” Arthur said._ _

__Carmilla stood up on Nastya’s chest, stretching her back. She shook her entire body, and her fur puffed up just a little. She moved her head towards Lyf, so they took the opportunity to give her some chin scratches. Carmilla seemed to like this for a minute, before she shook her head in a very human-like gesture, and nipped at Lyf’s hand. Lyf pulled their hand back a bit, and Carmilla jumped onto the floor. Carmilla started butting her head against Lyf’s legs, and batting at them with a paw, until Lyf took a step forward. Carmilla meowed, and kept butting against their leg. Lyf sat in one of the armchairs, and Carmilla sat by their feet, staring up at them. Her tail curled around her legs._ _

__“I think she wants you to sit down,” Arthur said._ _

__“Oh? What gave it away?” Lyf said sarcastically. Arthur laughed. Carmilla rolled her eyes._ _

__“I’m fine, you know,” Lyf told Carmilla. They tried to stand up, and Carmilla hissed at them. They sat back down, and Arthur laughed harder._ _

__“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” Lyf crossed their arms and glared at Arthur._ _

__“It is so nice to watch someone else be on the receiving end of Cat-milla’s rage,” Arthur said._ _

__Carmilla wiggled, and jumped up onto Lyf’s lap. She nuzzled their arm until Lyf unfolded it and started scratching her chin again. Carmilla settled into Lyf’s lap._ _

__“Not rage,” Lyf said, running a hand over her smooth fur._ _

__“Lyf!” Nastya said. Lyf looked over at her. She must have woken up a few seconds ago, judging by the way she rubbed at her eyes. Lyf expected her to react similarly to the others upon seeing they were awake, but instead she just glared at them, and said, “You stole my cat.”_ _

__“She stole me, actually,” Lyf said._ _

__“Mrow,” Carmilla said._ _

__“Yeah, sure,” Nastya rolled her eyes._ _

__Carmilla looked between Lyf and Nastya, and Lyf seemed to understand her dilemma. Lyf picked up Carmilla, and carried her to the couch. They sat down, and set Carmilla between them and Nastya. Lyf scratched her ears, Nastya scratched a spot right above her tail, and Carmilla started purring loudly. Carmilla couldn’t seem to decide which person’s touch to lean into, and ended up losing her balance, flopping over onto her side. She attempted to roll over, only to fall into the crack between the cushion and the back of the couch. She was trapped on her back, and wiggling only succeeded in burying her further in the divot. She wiggled for a few more seconds, before going still._ _

__“Carmilla?” Nastya asked._ _

__Carmilla didn’t respond._ _

__“Do you need some help?” Nastya asked._ _

__“...Mrow,” Carmilla said, softly. Nastya smiled, and gently pulled Carmilla out of the trap. Carmilla sat between Nasyta and Lyf, and began licking a paw to clean her face, as if nothing had happened. Nastya locked eyes with Lyf, and both of them started laughing._ _

__“How… how exactly does this work?” Lyf asked. “Carmilla being a cat, I mean.”_ _

__“She can transform, as part of being a vampire,” Nastya said. “Her thoughts aren’t as fluid in this form, though. She’s still Carmilla, but not exactly Carmilla, if that makes sense.”_ _

__

__“What’s a vampire?” Lyf asked._ _

__“Oh god, don’t ask me,” Arthur said. “I still don’t get it.”_ _

__“She’s immortal, turns into a cat, and drinks blood. That’s all she’ll tell us. She used to say more, but hell if I remember any of it,” Nastya said. Carmilla gave her a look. “What? It was a long time ago? I’m old.”_ _

__Carmilla glared at Nastya, and moved to sit in Lyf’s lap._ _

__“Oh, is that how it is?” Nastya said. Carmilla nuzzled Lyf’s chest._ _

__As Arthur laughed, and Nastya pouted, Lyfrassir realized something. That moment in the medbay, when they realized the others were already attached to them? The same applied to Carmilla. And somehow, Lyf knew it applied to Nastya too. They weren’t sure why they’d gained the affection of these people. They weren’t sure they deserved it. But something deep inside them knew they already cared a lot about them as well._ _

__They didn’t understand it. And it scared them almost as much as the rainbows that flashed across their vision every time they closed their eyes._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the couch thing totally happened with my cat once. also, if I'm remembering correctly, Maki said Carmilla was a melanistic serval when she transformed, and Y'ALL LOOK AT THIS DISTINGUISHED LADY 


End file.
